Elena Hate

[Doppelgänger]

I want to preface this by saying, please be respectful in your posts on this subject. Feelings are high, and I know that, but I want to understand why some people seem to be angry with Elena for seemingly moving on from Stefan and kissing Damon. All of her recent statements have been that Stefan is her past now, like "We'll have to let him go." "Stefan isn't the Stefan we knew anymore." "That sounds like a Klaus and Stefan problem." All of this unrelated to the kiss. She had already decided it was in the past. So given that and the following facts, how can people be so angry at her, because:

A/ We always knew it was a love triangle, right from the beginning of the show so it would be inevitable they'd explore DE.

B/ This has been building slowly between Damon and Elena. 2.5 years of build up is pretty darn slow.

C/ Stefan has told Elena more than once that he didn't want to be with her anymore.

D/ Elena is now single due to that and still waited the entire summer plus the beginning of the school year to begin to move on from Stefan and she spent her summer looking for him only to be told by him to get lost. So now she's gotten lost.

Why does that make her a bad person? I want to understand the anger I have seen toward her. I do get it, in a way. She has frustrated me in the past, but in the opposite direction. But when you look at the facts, I don't see how she could have done anything more. How long is she supposed to wait? They dated one school year. Now they've been apart at least 3 months. What is it about her actions that makes you angry and why do you think she owes Stefan anything more now?

I will add my feelings later after I hear from some of you. Let's make this a healthy and hopefully healing debate where we can come to understanding about the true situation Elena is in.

[Slash]

A lot of my hate earlier on this season for Elena was mainly based around how she was acting about the whole Stefan thing. The going into the woods, trying to get a peek at him, etc.. I'm actually happy about her current attitude of just letting him go now since he doesn't want anything to do with her. But really, it wasn't the relationship itself that bothered me, just the way she acted that made/makes me hate her now and again (right now, my hate solely stems from the Bekah treatment. Yes I'm bitter).

She's tried to win Stefan back but he's not coming back at this point in time. He's made that perfectly clear in his attitude and even being 'free' of Klaus, he wants to be away and still be mischievous. For someone to hate her because of the way Stefan has gone about things I'd find a problem with as Stefan is or should I say, 'was', the problem in that equation. To hate her more or just for the fact that she and Damon shared a kiss or a few intimate moments (cooking and so on) is also wrong I feel as Stefan has been gone for roughly 3 months, has made his feelings clear, and I think their relationship escalating has been something to keep the 2 'sane' after all the crap with Stefan (even though Damon tried to keep his distance to not feel 'guilty' about having a relationship with her while Stefan was/is gone).

[thebabe20]

I haven't actually seen any Elena hate to be honest, maybe I visit the right websites. I've only heard about it. But I mean I don't get it either. I don't know what else she was supposed to do, she has literally done everything in her limited means to help Stefan and to salvage whatever was left of their relationship and that's really more than I can say for Stefan. He's done nothing but disregard her and their relationship. We still don't know why he's done that, perhaps that will be revealed later on, but really it doesn't change the fact that he did.

What I saw was Elena fighting for something that Stefan had clearly already given up on. At first I can understand him trying to protect her by breaking up with her and such. And I think Elena got that which is why she didn't give up on him. After Klaus compelled him to turn it off, he was a douche to her for no reason at all. Just because he could be. He chose not to feel anything towards her and disregarded her in every way. I'm pretty sure if you love someone, turning off your humanity doesn't mean that you stop loving them. I don't know what Stefan's problem was there tbh, maybe they'll reveal it later on.

Now that he's off the compulsion and has his free will, he's still disregarding her in every way and demonstrated his lack of concern when he flat out told her he didn't care if Klaus threatened her brother, he's not giving up the coffins or his revenge. Basically screwing her over, because of him she had to send her brother away.

I don't understand how anyone can be upset at Elena for moving on and saying "Screw Stefan" after all the crap she's endured from him this season. And up until episode nine she fought for him and their relationship despite his obvious lack of regard for her. IMO Elena would truly be pathetic if she kept pining after Stefan and their relationship, when he can't be bothered to fight for it. I think it was one thing to hold out hope when he was under Klaus control, but now he has his free will and he's put revenge and basically everything else before her and that's just unacceptable.

In this situation to me it seems like Stefan is the one who made all the questionable decisions and yet Elena's getting the hate?I always say this whether people ship SE or DE, whenever something goes wrong in any of these relationships some tend to ignore the Salvatore's wrongs and heap all the hate on Elena no matter what the circumstances are.

[thebabe20]

As far as hating Elena for her treatment of Rebekah to be honest I don't get that either . Sure what she did to her wasn't right but I think it made complete sense given the situation she was put in. She stabbed her because she didn't want to risk anything going wrong with the plan, and hate him or not Rebekah is still Klaus's sister and she still loves her brother no matter what. That alone is enough to screw the entire plan to hell. She obviously didn't enjoy stabbing her in the back, but it needed to happen. She expressed a lot of remorse and it was clear that she felt bad about what she had to do, that's more than I can say for any other character.

Not even taking into consideration that Rebekah wasn't exactly innocent or a "good" person either, she was bratty and petulant most of the time and even attacked Elena just because she saw a picture with her wearing "her" necklace. Sure she had a moment where we really got to see her vulnerable for the first time, but it doesn't automatically erase everything else she's done .

[Slash]

Jan 11, 2012 3:02:33 GMT -5 thebabe20 said:

As far as hating Elena for her treatment of Rebekah to be honest I don't get that either . Sure what she did to her wasn't right but I think it made complete sense given the situation she was put in. She stabbed her because she didn't want to risk anything going wrong with the plan, and hate him or not Rebekah is still Klaus's sister and she still loves her brother no matter what. That alone is enough to screw the entire plan to hell. She obviously didn't enjoy stabbing her in the back, but it needed to happen. She expressed a lot of remorse and it was clear that she felt bad about what she had to do, that's more than I can say for any other character.

Not even taking into consideration that Rebekah wasn't exactly innocent or a "good" person either, she was bratty and petulant most of the time and even attacked Elena just because she saw a picture with her wearing "her" necklace. Sure she had a moment where we really got to see her vulnerable for the first time, but it doesn't automatically erase everything else she's done .

Having Bonnie simply spell the room with a Barrier would have sufficed. Have Matt still show up and stay with her, turn on the radio and slow dance to some music. Granted Elena & Co. want to get rid of Klaus, but obviously, there was a family matter at hand and with Bekah being family, she had a say. Klaus, Mikael and then the surrounding questions about which one was responsible for her Mother's death.

And being bratty, meh. Book Elena was bratty/self-centered. People front/develop and that's what Bekah did in her short time. She may have been bratty but with her last few interactions with Elena, it was a girl looking for a friend. As for some of the hate going towards Elena about the Bekah situation, she didn't have to tell Klaus that she told Bekah about their Mother. Elena doomed Bekah to be indefinitely staked and I think Klaus would go as far as to hide her away if he should get his hands on his other family members and awaken them because Bekah has this info. Elena could have just let Klaus wake Bekah up and deal with her on his own (having to deal with Stefan and a pissed off/suspicious Sister). Elena for no apparent reason threw away a good card from her hand.

[Doppelgänger]

I admit I did feel bad for Rebecca in that scene even though she's not really a favorite character of mine, but I can also understand why Elena did it, and it seems it was sort of an impulsive move.

[Sweetluv4DE]

Wow I debated about making this thread. Thanks Doppel for doing it...

I'm just gonna say this

1. All she did was kiss Damon back! Let's not treat her as if she initiated it and then jumped his bones. She gave into a kiss that she has been fighting back for MONTHS and her feelings for Damon.

2. For everything these two have been together is anyone actually surprised a kiss happened? Every situation these two people have been in was high stress. It was a Savior save me relationship. Damon has stood by her through the Stefan thing because no one in the world would feel as hurt about Stefan as Damon would. They have this experience, this common ground that only the two of them can relate to and lean on each other. Their bond has grown immensely through this!

3. Whether or not the reasons Stefan has told her to get lost so many times is because he wanted to or not he still told her to get lost. Think about this for a sec.... you love someone for 3 months you try everything and everyday he changes or things change. Yes it might not be fully his fault but at some point you are DRAINED! She is at last only human. No matter how much you love someone, you can only take so much!

4. Stefan has told Damon numerous times to protect Elena. Why? Why does Damon who he knows obviously loves Elena and Elena obviously cares about him, why keep pushing them together? In the episode Rose he used Damon's love to protect Elena. In the tomb he told Damon to watch over her and in the forest he told Damon to take her back to Mystic Falls and keep her there all knowing Damon was in love with her. Who asks their brother to do all this and not expect anything to escalate? So Damon can risk his life for Elena so Stefan reaps the benefits of loving her? Seems selfish. But I don't think Stefan was clueless. I think Stefan knew what he was doing in asking and in that forest Stefan knew he would probably never come home. So at that point he broke up with her and sent her away with his bro who loved her hoping they could be happy without him.

5. Yes Stefan didn't kill her he fought compulsion. But would Stefan ever kill Elena? I keep seeing people saying well he forced himself not to kill her... Even if Stefan was so angry at Elena he could never kill her. He would fight OBVIOUSLY! So would Damon so would Caroline. Stefan loved Elena doesn't mean he thought it was a good thing for them to be together. Hence why they aren't together now.

6. He is not compelled. He is not under a spell or under anyone's control. If Elena is not the first thing on his TO DO list I would be angry at him not at Elena for her feelings. He told her Jer "was not his problem" to me that is like driving the van into Jer to only hit Alaric himself. You have the key to stop the violence against people you have fought for before and now since you feel so close to your "revenge" that you cant see past it... sorry Elena at this point has every right to turn her back. Yes she found out he didn't betray them but in the same breath think about it, she found out he could fight and that maybe he isn't compelled anymore so what does that mean? That means Elena has gone down on the list of things to take care of. That Elena's importance to Stefan has dropped. That it's not because he couldn't help her it was because he didn't CARE! Stefan.. normal Stefan didn't CARE! So in one breath you save Damon and in another you in-danger him!

7. Lastly I find it saddening that the heroine is always the one who gets the wrath in these relationships. We tend to stick to our guy and bash the female characters not supplying any empathy and nor trying to understand her stand point. We judge WOMEN period harder than men! The brothers can do all they do and somehow it's always Elena's fault. I love Damon and I will always love Damon but after seeing the Elena hate for this Stefan thing I cant take his side if he ever pulls crap on her like this. In the past I have forgiven him easily. Never again. He will have to prove himself worthy. And I think he has and Elena has forgiven him. Stefan would have to do the same for me to ever respect a SE relationship again. And just because I'm a DE doesn't mean I don't respect Stefan.


Sorry so long. I have seen the hate and it frustrates me to no end. I don't know at the end of the day what Elena would have to go through that she hasn't already and what Stefan would have to do to prove that Elena is not on his list of priorities at the moment. I guess women are just supposed to wait around for men these days to make up their revengeful minds?? Or stay single and not take chances on love. Next episode I think will reveal allot! Waiting on that episode for more information!

[Doppelgänger]

Yeah I know you wanted to make this thread. It just makes me curious. I can understand it in a knee jerk sort of way, as a response to being unhappy with SE not being together and her kissing Damon, but not from a logical perspective when you look at all the facts of what brought them to this place. Surely they've got to see the role Stefan played in it all. He's not the innocent bystander whose gf dumped him for no good reason. She wasn't even the one who made the split! So why, now that she's accepting it and moving on, does she become the hated one?

In the beginning of the season I was like SlashZaku, frustrated with her for NOT moving on, for hanging on to Stefan and endangering everyone to try to get him back. I saw her put alot of effort into Stefan and their relationship long after Stefan himself gave up.

Stefan didn't have to do some of the things he's done. He didn't have to tell her to get lost. He didn't have to say Jeremy was not his problem. He didn't have to act like he didn't care if he really did. He didn't have to say the nasty things he said to her even if he did have his emotions turned off, like calling her pathetic. It's like he went from love to hate and nothing in between. Having his emotions shut off shouldn't have done that! Is this who ripper Stefan is then cause he's a nasty piece of work. He's not treating Damon like dirt, only Elena. What did she do to deserve that?

He's not compelled anymore so where is it all coming from now? I have a hard time understanding Stefan and why he did his about face and is sticking with it. I can't blame Elena for finally deciding she's had enough.

So she kissed Damon back, the guy who has tried hard to be a better person for her, who's been there for her through all of this with Stefan, who understands the situation she's in and has been helping her deal with it. It seems only natural to me that she would feel comforted by Damon and she does. How far that will go, who knows, but it hasn't gone beyond this fairly innocent kiss at this point.

But maybe I'm missing something or not understanding something here, which is why I asked why.

[Princess of Darkness]

I've seen the hate too. Especially on Tumblr. I saw a post yesterday that compared Elena telling Klaus, "sounds like a Klaus and Stefan problem," to "not really my problem." Supposedly Elena needs a slap in the face too.

[Sweetluv4DE]

Jan 11, 2012 16:55:36 GMT -5 Princess of Darkness said:

I've seen the hate too. Especially on Tumblr. I saw a post yesterday that compared Elena telling Klaus, "sounds like a Klaus and Stefan problem," to "not really my problem." Supposedly Elena needs a slap in the face too.

Ok I don't get this!! She only told Klaus that because she thought Stefan BETRAYED THEM!

My God this girl must be soooo scared every time she sees Klaus! What Stefan is doing has nothing to do with her! It is a Stefan and Klaus problem! But guess what Klaus will make it her problem and Stefan wont CARE!

So Stefan can literally screw up their plan and ruin her one chance to not be his Hybrid blood bag and yet she isn't allowed to say that his problem is a Stefan and Klaus problem???

People are getting desperate and ridiculous! SERIOUSLY she thought he betrayed them! I'm so annoyed at the hate for Elena right now.

[Princess of Darkness]

I am too. I've seen it here, on the forum and-- Idk. It's like, to some degree, I completely understand where they are coming from, hurting about their ship.. But I feel like some have their anger directed to the wrong side of their ship, because to me, logically, I don't understand how someone can be so upset with Elena. Like you pointed out, the girl waited for months, to basically have that slapped in her face when he told her, "I don't want to see you! I don't want to be with you."

Even then, Elena hadn't given up hope. When the ghosts were around, she tried to get as much time with Lexy as she could-- because she was desperate to bring back the Stefan she knew and loved.

She told him-- I will not love a ghost for the rest of my life-- just like she told Jeremy he shouldn't. That's something that bothers me too, some of those who were on the "screw Anna" boat, seem to think Elena should love a ghost of the man she knew...

And you don't want to get me started there, because how can you fully be in love with someone that you don't really know? Elena didn't fully know Stefan! She knew one part of him! She had no idea what he was capable of-- or that her perfect boyfriend, wasn't as perfect as she thought. Love cannot be built upon misconception. So, if anything, Elena has the full right to move on from Stefan-- but in my personal opinion, the person she's letting go of, isn't the Stefan we see now. How could she be expected to hold on to something that wasn't real?

[Doppelgänger]

I'm not saying people can't feel what they feel but I'd just like to hear the reasoning behind it. You can't look at it like it happened in a vacuum and Stefan had nothing to do with it and that seems to be the logic I've seen thus far. Also just saying, "Stefan did all this for Damon and Elena," is irrelevant. That doesn't mean he can now be a giant jerkface and just get away with it nor tell her he doesn't want to be with her and still expect her to wait around for him to change his mind.

[Princess of Darkness]

Jan 11, 2012 18:11:43 GMT -5 Doppelgänger said:

I'm not saying people can't feel what they feel but I'd just like to hear the reasoning behind it. You can't look at it like it happened in a vacuum and Stefan had nothing to do with it and that seems to be the logic I've seen thus far. Also just saying, "Stefan did all this for Damon and Elena," is irrelevant. That doesn't mean he can now be a giant jerkface and just get away with it nor tell her he doesn't want to be with her and still expect her to wait around for him to change his mind.

I agree. And countless times, I've also said- whether or whether not Stefan saved Damon, this probably still would have happened. During the sacrifice, before Stefan knew about the wolf bite, Klaus said he had other plans for Stefan. So, really, Damon having been bit by the werewolf bite was pretty much a way to Stefan for Klaus.

[Doppelgänger]

Jan 11, 2012 19:37:03 GMT -5 Princess of Darkness said:

Jan 11, 2012 18:11:43 GMT -5 Doppelgänger said:

I'm not saying people can't feel what they feel but I'd just like to hear the reasoning behind it. You can't look at it like it happened in a vacuum and Stefan had nothing to do with it and that seems to be the logic I've seen thus far. Also just saying, "Stefan did all this for Damon and Elena," is irrelevant. That doesn't mean he can now be a giant jerkface and just get away with it nor tell her he doesn't want to be with her and still expect her to wait around for him to change his mind.

I agree. And countless times, I've also said- whether or whether not Stefan saved Damon, this probably still would have happened. During the sacrifice, before Stefan knew about the wolf bite, Klaus said he had other plans for Stefan. So, really, Damon having been bit by the werewolf bite was pretty much a way to Stefan for Klaus.

Wow, you're totally right on that. I'd forgotten he said that and now that we know about their past, he had planned to get Stefan on his side all along in some way.

[Princess of Darkness]

Jan 11, 2012 19:53:02 GMT -5 Doppelgänger said:

Jan 11, 2012 19:37:03 GMT -5 Princess of Darkness said:

I agree. And countless times, I've also said- whether or whether not Stefan saved Damon, this probably still would have happened. During the sacrifice, before Stefan knew about the wolf bite, Klaus said he had other plans for Stefan. So, really, Damon having been bit by the werewolf bite was pretty much a way to Stefan for Klaus.

Wow, you're totally right on that. I'd forgotten he said that and now that we know about their past, he had planned to get Stefan on his side all along in some way.

Yeah, and its not like I'm saying that it lessens what Stefan did for his brother- because he had no memory of Klaus, he had no idea, that in a way, he'd already brought Klaus on himself. My point is just that, one way or another, whether through Damon's wolf bite or not, Klaus would have wanted Stefan, and attempted to bring him to his side.