Damon and Elena Moments in Review - Episode 2x08

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Because I'm not so eloquent I will start this thread with someone else's review of the confession in 2x08 because it is so well written and detailed, explaining what may have been going through both Damon and Elena's heads at the time that it is a perfect example of what I want these threads to be about. Delena's journey has been a fascinating one and there are certain stops along the way worth noting and discussing. That's what these threads are for. So if you find (or write) an explanation of a pivotal moment in Delena's journey, please post it here so we can all reflect and relive that moment from a new perspective.

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From: blackbellsandredroses.tumblr.com/post/87624271770/damon-and-elena-you-are-not-what-i-wanted-you-are

Damon And Elena: You Are Not What I Wanted, You Are Better (Part One)


Damon: “I love you Elena. And it’s because I love you that I can’t be selfish with you. Why you can’t know this. I don’t deserve you. But my brother does.” 2x08

‘Rose’ has always been the biggest reason I question why you wouldn’t ship Damon and Elena. Damon’s confession to her at the end of the episode is without a doubt one of the sweetest, most romantic moments on any show I’ve ever seen. It far and away eclipses every moment Stefan and Elena ever shared before and after it.

And she wasn’t even allowed to remember it. The most brilliant and necessary of tragedies.

The reason their slow burn journey makes this series their love story first and foremost.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. 2x08 isn’t just about that legendary first ‘I love you’ that puts all other professions of love to shame.

It’s about the build up. About WHY it was time for Damon to own up to his feelings for her.

The previous episode was a means of setting the stage, letting us know that Damon’s love for Elena really wasn’t all that secret to anyone who pays attention and he needed to stop denying it, at least to himself.

Elena getting kidnapped by Rose and Trevor for reasons unknown at the time certainly seems to be just the jolt he needed. Although that’s largely because of what happened on the rescue mission.

Jeremy: “Well you can’t do this alone.”

Damon: “He’s not. Let’s go.”

Stefan: “You’re coming with me?”

Damon: “It’s Elena.”

The lead in to this save Elena venture was just the beginning of Damon’s final push. He’d spent months coping with Katherine’s betrayal, developing an unprecedented friendship with Elena and eventually realizing that what he had with Katherine wasn’t what he believed it to be, yet what he had with Elena was already everything he’d ever dreamed.

She is the fulfillment of every unspoken wish he has ever had since the time he was human. She is, for all intents and purposes, the one. More than a soul mate or an epic love, she is true. Real.

The mirror of his soul.

It just took him a completely understandable stretch of time to accept it. To come to terms with the fact that his world wasn’t what he thought it was and that the person he had waited all this time for was nothing that he ever expected.

She was better.

It’s all wrapped up in that simple statement.

Stefan seems slightly surprised that Damon would volunteer to join him on their rescue mission without any provocation or coercion.

“It’s Elena.”

It IS Elena. Like she’s it. Everything. The most important thing that ever was to him.

Yes Stefan had said the same thing not two scenes before this, but it doesn’t carry the same weight coming from him. Because Elena doesn’t mean the same to him as she does to Damon.

Elena isn’t everything to Stefan. She never was. That isn’t really how Stefan loves. All or nothing, with basically no room for anyone else.

But Damon’s entire heart, mind and soul is centered on Elena. And that is more or less what that statement conveys. You can see it in his eyes. Hear it in his voice.

It’s how you know the confession is coming. And soon.

Stefan: “Thank you. For helping me.”

Damon: “Can we not do the whole road trip bonding thing? The cliche of it all makes me itch.”

Stefan: “Aw, come on Damon. We both know you being in this car has absolutely nothing to do with me anyway.”

Damon: “And the elephant in the room lets out a mighty roar.”

Stefan: “It doesn’t have to be an elephant, you know, let’s talk about it.”

Damon: “There’s nothing to talk about.”

Stefan: “That’s not true, sure there is, just get it out. I mean are you in this car because you want to help your little brother save the girl that he loves or is it… Is it because you love her too? I mean come on, express yourself, I happen to like road trip bonding.”

Damon: “Keep it up Stefan, I can step out of helping as easily as I stepped in.”

Stefan: “Nope, see that’s the beauty of it. You can’t.”

The most fascinating part of this conversation is Stefan’s utter nonchalance. He seems to take no issue with the fact that his big brother is head over heels in love with his girlfriend.

Obviously, deep down, he does have some insecurity over it. But Stefan being Stefan, he recognizes that at the end of the day Damon being in love with Elena is better and safer for all of them than the alternative. So rather than discouraging it he looks for the positive in these unorthodox circumstances.

Damon, on the other hand, is nowhere near ready to go down this road with his brother. Not again. Not after Katherine. And especially when he is not the choice, and apparently will never be.

So he deflects as he always does. Except that its difficult to feign indifference for someone you’re madly in love with. Someone who is currently in a potentially catastrophic situation with no way of protecting herself.

He tries to wear his mask of detachment but his smirk and his snarky tone just aren’t convincing anyone. He’s too far gone. Another step closer to his admittance of the undeniable truth at the end of the episode.

Elena: “Thank you.”

Damon: “You’re welcome.”

The first scene Damon and Elena have had together in two episodes has no actual dialogue being exchanged. This expression of gratitude is silent, mouthed in secret behind Stefan’s back.

This is also what I believe to be the reason Damon finally cracked and went to see her that night.

The look of love and relief and trust on her face when she stood at the top of the stairs and gazed in adoration at her ‘savior’ was one that Damon wishes more than anything could be directed at him. For a moment he believes it is.

Until he remembers his brother is standing just to the side of him. And that Stefan’s the one she wants.

You can see when his face falls as she runs to his brother that he can no longer deny what he’s feeling. The love is too real to pretend it isn’t there. And bottling it up isn’t doing him any favors.

At the same time, he doesn’t want what he’s feeling to impact the current dynamic because all it would do is distract from the danger of their new, unseen enemy. So even though he can’t contain it anymore, he also has no plans to inflict his unrequited love on those around him.

Damon: “Cute pjs.”

Elena: “I’m tired Damon.”

Damon: “Brought you this.”

Elena: “I thought that was gone. Thank you. Please give it back.”

Damon: “I just have to say something.”

Elena: “Why do you have to say it with my necklace?”

Damon: “Because what I’m about to say is probably the most selfish thing I’ve ever said in my life.”

Elena: “Damon don’t go there.”

Damon: “No I just have to say it once. You just need to hear it. I love you Elena. And it’s because I love you that I can’t be selfish with you. Why you can’t know this. I don’t deserve you. But my brother does. God I wish you didn’t have to forget this. But you do.”

This scene is everything I love about Damon and Elena. Its their bond and its inherent beauty in its truest form, untainted by judgment, expectation or distance.

This is how you know its real. Unfailingly, unbelievably, uncontrollably real.

Damon hasn’t shown up unannounced in her bedroom since 2x01. Since he made a mistake that cost him Elena’s trust and friendship. That turned her affection to hate.

But now that the first arc of season two is coming to its close, the writers brought Damon and Elena full circle in this respect. They brought Damon back to her room with completely different intentions.

This time he isn’t drunk, hurt, angry, betrayed and lost. This time he has no nefarious objectives, no potential for dramatic impulse, and no specific expectations.

When he showed up to her room in 2x01 his motives were selfish, born of resentment and rejection.

When he shows up to her room in 2x08 his motives are selfless, spawned from nothing but complete surrender to his all consuming love for her.

The ultimate example of how he’s let go of Katherine for good and embraced Elena is this parallel.

In 2x01 he was riddled with uncertainty and pain. The only emotions Katherine has ever really brought out of him in moments of honesty between them.

In 2x08 he is radiating purpose and clarity. The emotions that Elena has drawn out of him from the beginning. She makes everything more certain for him than Katherine ever did.

“No I just have to say it once. You just need to hear it. I love you Elena. And it’s because I love you that I can’t be selfish with you. Why you can’t know this. I don’t deserve you. But my brother does. God I wish you didn’t have to forget this. But you do.”

But perhaps the most incredible aspect of this scene is its far reaching consequences. Because Damon has absolutely no idea what he ensured for his own future when he came to see her that night and uttered these words.

This is the reason Elena finally embraced her feelings for him in season four.

Regardless of the dozens of other factors involved in her breakup with Stefan and subsequent coupling with Damon, getting THIS memory back is what sealed the deal for Delena.

It’s not because he loved her already so early in the game.

It’s because of the way he chose to express that love for the first time. By going against every assumption and criticism that has been made of him since he came to town.

He proved in this scene that the way he loves Elena is nothing like the way he loved Katherine. That his humanity really will be his saving grace in the coming seasons. That he’s capable of doing the right thing for the right reasons.

He proved that he’s the better man. The better brother.

The persona everyone has assigned to Damon would have you inclined to believe that he would use her vulnerability in this moment — the fact that she isn’t on vervain — to his advantage. He could’ve compelled her to do anything, to want him, to love him, to forgive him for killing Jeremy. At this juncture the more ignorant individuals would assume that he would do something awful and selfish like that.

Elena apparently had some of those same fears at the time because she tried to back away when he refused to give her the necklace back. She had understandable reticence about his intentions. After all, the last time he’d shown up unbidden like this in her room he’d taken her little brother’s life because she spurned his advances. She had no reason to trust his presence in her room this time.

Yet another reason that this carries so much weight. It isn’t just an ‘I love you.’

It’s a form of redemption. A large concession on Damon’s part that shows he’s been set on the correct path. A path that holds Elena and forgiveness and humanity and love and happiness.

All because he loved her enough to let her go.

He had to tell her. He couldn’t keep it to himself any longer. It had to be said out loud once instead of being kept a dirty little secret because to him she isn’t a dirty secret, and neither is his love for her. His feelings developed naturally and beautifully from her positive influence on him. He didn’t intend to sully that by continuing to hide behind a mask of indifference.

But he didn’t want to burden her with his love either. Because she had made it very clear she would never feel the same. That it would always be Stefan. So instead of challenging that and trying to get in the middle of her apparent happiness with his brother, he removed himself from the game. He preserved her relationship with Stefan because he wanted them to have what they deserved: a chance to be together without him screwing it up.

He could never have known that this very confession, bred from the purest selfless love imaginable, was the final nail in Stelena’s coffin. He set up the implosion of his brother’s romance with Elena by doing this, by being the bigger person and sacrificing his own feelings and happiness for theirs.

"Because what I’m about to say is probably the most selfish thing I’ve ever said in my life."

I suppose in some ways it is selfish that he fell in love with her. She wasn’t his to love. What right did he have to harbor those romantic feelings for her when she would never feel the same.

But this is why everything about Damon is such a clever paradox. Because as he’s openly admitting to her that he recognizes how selfish his feelings are, he’s also doing the most selfless thing he’s done in decades.

He’s putting her first. Above and beyond everything, he’s making her desires and wants and needs the priority.

And right now her desires and wants and needs revolve around Stefan. So rather than disputing it Damon accepts it. Even acknowledges that his brother is the better choice anyway.

"I don’t deserve you. But my brother does."

He’s wrong of course. Dead wrong. Damon deserves her much more than Stefan ever could.

But it’s okay that he thinks this about himself. It only leaves more room for his personal development, silently confirming that someday he will be the one that deserves her. He will be the better choice.

And then he tops it off with that first forehead kiss. The epitome of everything that is so romantic and thoughtful about Damon and Delena.

Firstly because Stefan doesn’t kiss Elena’s forehead and never did. It isn’t in his repertoire. He’s not affectionate like that. He opts for the hugs and the hand holding over the cheek and forehead kisses.

Hugging and handholding is sweet, but its also simple. Adolescent. An example of a high school romance.

The strategically placed kisses are simple for a different reason. They’re gentle passion and intimate comfort. An expression of more mature love and respect.

And they can convey a host of diverse meanings depending on the situation.

In this instance, Damon’s forehead kiss is his way of letting her go. It’s him telling her silently that she is loved but that there won’t be any pressure or expectation put on her from him because of it.

It’s his subtle way of imparting how selfless his love really is. Because his love is not incumbent on any reciprocation from her. She doesn’t have to earn it, to live up to it, to feel the same way. It is freely given and wordlessly expressed.

A forehead kiss. The ultimate selflessly romantic gesture of affection.

He’s saying ‘I love you.’ He’s saying ‘I’m here for you.’

He’s also saying ‘I know you’ll never be mine.’

This scene is why I ship them, yacht them to the very edges of the earth. This is why Damon is better for her. This is why their relationship is the better relationship, why their romance is better developed, why their love is so much stronger and more intense than Stelena’s.

This is why it’s so real between them.

Because of how unanticipated this was for both of them.

Damon never expected to love her like this. Elena never expected to be loved like this.

Neither of them knew the other would turn out to be the greatest thing they never expected to happen to them.

Elena in particular was blindsided by what she has with Damon. But he was just as shocked if his reluctance to admit it was any indication.

After all, this wasn’t what he had waited all these decades for. This wasn’t why he turned. This wasn’t why he came back to Mystic Falls.

This wasn’t the plan. SHE wasn’t the plan.

But all the best things in life come to us unplanned.

Damon waited most of his life for a woman he was willing to do anything for. A woman he believed felt the same in return.

As it turns out, the woman he waited for, and the love he felt for that woman, were nothing compared to what he was REALLY waiting for.

Elena.

You can never convince me otherwise. He waited 145 years for her. To love her, to be with her, to experience genuine happiness with her.

Because she is not what he wanted. She is better.

[missmystic]

Wow, that was intense, and so wonderful! I need a minute to process and reflect, I'll be back lol

[missmystic]

What's interesting about that for me is that I hadn't really consciously registered a lot of that, but I had gotten it all internally. As I was reading through it I was recognizing how well I understood everything she was pointing out, but I had never analyzed it before, I had never broken it down like that and articulated exactly WHY that episode had made me feel the way it had made me feel. But having it spelled out like that makes it so clear, and it makes so much sense.

At first glance, that moment (and the moments leading up to it) feel tragic. This beautiful boy, who loved so hard and broke so completely, who felt like he had nothing and no one, finally opened his heart to something pure. But it was unrequited. That is the stuff of old world poetry. Like the Lady of Shallot. With Katherine, he was betrayed. He was wooed into love, and tricked into believing it was requited. She broke his heart, and she did it on purpose. But this moment in time with Elena was a completely different kind of heartbreak. Because it was no one's fault, it was innocent. He didn't mean to fall in love with her, and she didn't ask him to. This time there is no one to be angry at, this time there is no one to blame. This time the love it true, because it came from purity, and it came naturally. And he has grown enough, and learned enough about himself and about Elena to understand what's happening. He knows he's doomed, and an earlier version of him might have acted out in the wake of realizing his predicament. But this Damon knows better. He knows that Elena doesn't deserve that. She didn't hurt him. She didn't do anything wrong. And he just wants her to be happy. So he takes the pain, and lets it out, like a deep breath, and then faces the future prepared for what he has to endure. It really is so beautiful, and so perfectly expresses what makes Damon the kind of man we all fell in love with.

But then there is a second glance, the moment that gives the future hope, that this isn't just Damon loving alone. And that is the silent exchange that Elena shares with Damon when they rescue her. Yes, she runs to Stefan, because he was her boyfriend, and he was standing there waiting for her. But if this Delena romance was really one sided, then the scene would have ended there. She would have gone to Stefan, and Damon would have walked away. But that's not what happened. She knows Stefan is fragile, and she knows that as his girlfriend she needs to stand by him and be loyal. Which is why when she thanks Damon for coming to her rescue, she says it only to Damon, only for him. And you can see in her face that she NEEDED to tell him, she needed him to know that she understood the role he had played in saving her life, and that it meant something to her. She needed him to know that. After everything they had been through, after she had told him that she hated him, that their friendship was over, he still came for her. And she was awed by that. And his gracious acceptance of her acknowledgement is even more testimony to what they share. Because he respected that she wanted that moment between them to be private, he didn't advertise it, or rub it in Stefan's face. And he did that to show his respect for her. And she knew it. It was pure romance.

God I love them so much!