Stefan can't chose to toss Elena out like trash and then get angry that his brother decides to value her. It's like "I don't want her, but you can't have her either." That's not a very attractive attitude for him to have. He broke up with Elena and did everything to try and push her away from him regardless of his reasons, so why does he care who she's with? Regardless if it's his brother or not.
I don't understand why the fact that SE are broken up automatically means Stefan had no grounds to punch Damon?
He punched Damon because he feels like crap, the punch was only a reflection of his
feelings, so when some are saying Stefan didn't have grounds to punch Damon, it feels more like the argument is that
Stefan has no grounds to his feelings. Which is not something I can agree with.
There are feelings, and then there are actions.
Should Stefan's feelings have lead to him physically punching Damon? Well, perhaps not. In real life, I'd never advocate violence as a way to deal with one's feelings (well violence towards another person, note that kick boxing does seem to be Elena's stress relief though... hmm...). But as I've said (and this does seem to be going in circles, lol), these boys are just not good at talking/communicating and it seems their way to show a real burst of emotion usually comes in the form of a punch (or two, or three). And that applies to Stefan
and Damon, not one or the other. They're both guilty of it at one time or another. Which is why I didn't blink or think much of the punch when I saw Stefan do it.
Now, back to actual feelings... in my view, Stefan has grounds to feel what he feels. He is entitled to feel hurt, or upset, or angry. Just because he and Elena are broken up (and yes I completely agree they most definitely are broken up, and I don't think Stefan is under any illusions that he and Elena are still a couple – he's told her flat out that they're over and that he feels he's lost her), does not mean Stefan has stopped loving Elena. So if he's hurt, he has a right to feel hurt. I think it would be unfair to assume that he has no right to feel upset. It's just another blow and further confirmation in his mind that he's lost everything.
Note that I have
not said that just because he's hurt means he has a right to project that onto Damon or Elena or tell them not to pursue a relationship. Because I don't think he does.
He has said and done some harsh, crappy, awful things these last couple of months that definitely mean that Stefan doesn't have grounds to use whatever those feelings of pain are, and project them onto DE or treat them like crap. It's up to Damon and Elena to decide if they want to explore their feelings and move into relationship territory, but that doesn't mean Stefan has to like it, or throw them a congratulatory party.
And I also wanted to just add... as a more general response to this thread:
So far... you know what... we
don't know what Stefan's full reaction is. All we got is an impulsive punch that Damon seemed to perhaps think he had coming, or at the very least, understood why Stefan may have done it. We don't know how Stefan's going to interact with Damon and Elena going forward, so I do think it's a
little early to start judging him too much about getting in between Elena and Damon when he has yet to do so.
If he wanted to push her away, and he did successfully why is he all up in arms about her having feelings for someone else?
Stefan is not up in arms about Elena having feelings for Damon. You'll notice he didn't yell at her or ask her how could she or ask her why. His issue, as evidenced by the punch, seems to be with Damon, not Elena.
I still don't get the connection between Stefan saving Damon's life therefore Damon should not kiss the girl he broke up with and was presently treating like dirt.
Well, I think the connection has been mentioned since Damon was the one who brought it up.
I know we all view the show differently, so here is my take -- Damon was admitting that his thinking pattern had gone something like this:
"If only Stefan had continued (in my eyes) to be the douche-bag brother who betrayed us, then maybe I'd have been able to not continue feeling guilty about being in love with his girl. Stefan's an ass now, so who cares about his feelings since he doesn't care about us."
Guilt relieved by the fact that Stefan didn't care any more, so why should Damon? When Damon found out about Stefan saving his life, suddenly it was a new piece of information Damon had to factor in.
"Crap, now I'm back to feeling guilty because Stefan's just saved my life again and all I want is Elena."
So guilt not relieved after all, and Damon decided that if he was going to feel guilty about his feelings for Elena, then he might as well feel guilty for actually kissing her as well.
I think this hit a nerve with some fans because his timing kinda sucked. And Damon did
not have to lead that conversation the way he did. When Elena asked, "What does that even mean?" Damon could have said, "I don't know, Elena, but I guess we'll find out." Or not kissed her. Whatever. He did.
So, now they're all in this mess... and it's not Elena's fault or Damon's fault or Stefan's fault. Stefan was forced out of the picture and has chosen to remain out (in terms of the SE relationship). Damon and Elena turned to each other and their feelings have only grown, which seems pretty natural to me. Elena's probably confused about where she really sits in all of this – she still loves Stefan and isn't over him yet, but then there's Damon and she hasn't really dissected those feelings either. Damon's been in love with Elena for a while and is finally seeing that maybe she might like him too. I don't blame Damon for having feelings for Elena, just like Stefan has a right to feel what he feels, so does Damon. So does Elena.
It's how they use those feelings and turn them into actions that will determine how the S/E/D triangle plays out.
This triangle is extremely complicated and I think the prediction that the writers were going to continue driving all DE and SE fans up the wall this season is pretty accurate. I can just imagine the writers getting some sort of weird joy out of watching the fandom explode, LOL.
Wow I disagree with this like a 1000000000%!!!!
If this person knew half of Damon's character, his back story, if they knew anything remotely about Damon they would have never made such a biased and one sided point of view explanation.
Blame Damon! Always. It's just easier to sleep at night. Good grief!
To be fair, aren't we all biased? I mean, can any of us truly claim to be really objective when we write about how we feel about the characters or how we interpret their actions. Just reading through this very thread it's clear that we all can see the same action a hundred different ways. I think with TV shows, it tends to be that fans latch onto certain characters they like and find it easier to see the show through those character's POVs than others. Especially when it involves a 'ship. Just a thought.
It seems to me he's only starting to care because it's starting to effect HIM. Prior to that it was, 'not my problem,' as the standard answer coming out of his mouth.
But I do like a good debate and I am one of those people who doesn't like Stefan. I've tried, believe me I've tried but he rubs me the wrong way.
I don't know what Elena will decide but I don't see her being single, because it wouldn't suit the show and the triangle if she was. I imagine she'll bounce around and drive us all insane before it's all said and done, though.
