Wipe my Memories.I hate my Brother: Stefan's Anger

[Ruby2579]

So I came across this on Tumblr and also read something similar here in the threads.

They are making these comparisons and I cant disagree anymore with this.

2x22: Damon confesses this to Elena while he is dying. He Loves Elena. She helped change him etc etc...

3x22: Elena tells Damon She chooses Stefan and on to season 4 Damon is still by her side helping her etc.

4x10: Elena confesses shes in love with Damon. Stefan is so devastated by the realization of all these confessions and the betrayal of his brother (will get back to that later) that he tells Rebekah to erase his memories. DO IT

Now here comes all the Stefan bashing because he cant handle reality and hes not sane or hes selfish only worrying about him yadadadadad

but this is my thought on the whole thing and why I justify Stefan's actions


1. Elena never was Damon's. Not until recently. She was with Stefan first. Damon came along and slowly fell for his brother's girlfriend.

learning how to deal with the fact the girl he was in love with was in love with his brother.

After all of season 3 and Elena choosing Stefan anyway Damon was GOING TO LET ALARIC KILL HIM. he had given up he just wanted it over with wanted to die

until he realized he still had an ounce of hope. the fact that Elena and him did meet first.

and he decided to fight back.

IF bekah was with Damon at the current time and heard about what had happened and Damon (didnt think he was gonna die bc of the klaus thing) I think he would have taken bekah's offer on wiping clean his memories of his love for Elena (in my opinion)

Now lets fast forward to today's episode

Stefan is devastated because he feels betrayed that his brother and the love of his life slept together. I dont care if they were broken up already its still a line of betrayal.

Elena confesses "her feelings" about Damon and how shes not in love with Stefan no more yadyadyayd.

He had to sit through numerous confessions there. He hears Rebekahs offer on the clean slate

Why not take it? Theres no hope in his eyes right now.
I dont blame him for wanting a clean slate. Do i think he's sane for wanting that? Maybe not because the way I live is everything that happens every mistake heartbreak helps create the person u are but lets face it stefan is not thinking logically right now.

but guess what Stefan in the midst of his heartbreak also was protecting Elena from Tyler. He ran with her to get out of harms way. He will find his ounce of hope again....

Now on to the betrayal...and why i get why stefan said he hated his brother. (which we all know he doesnt hate his brother hes just so hurt)

Stefan had Elena he was with her and hes lost her to his brother. He doesnt see that he lost her fair and square because he didnt. The Sirebond is intact and THE SAME DAY DAMON IS WILLING TO GO DRINK WITH HIS BROTHER TO DROWN THEIR SORROWS Damon goes and sleeps with Elena.

The two people Stefan trusted the most betrayed him and he has a right to be upset with Damon. Yea they were broken up so I can give Elena a pass with that but Damon betrayed his brother. Didnt think of him when it happened wasnt sorry they broke up.

Not entirely blaming Damon either because Damon has waited on the sidelines and finally had his chance and acted upon it. He Loves Elena and he was willing to LOVE Elena and betray his brother

Elena feeling like she was a broken toy?
When you started feeling like that sweety? After you couldnt stop complaining how much you hated being a vampire?

How you said you wasnt going to survive it How you didnt want to betray anyone.

Stefan never looked at you like a broken toy. You got all pissed because he involved Jeremy on the plan a plan now that Damon is continuing with Jeremy....

but I guess that can be another debate. I know theres more to this but I feel like i have rambled long enough...

[Doppelgänger]

Jan 17, 2013 22:56:50 GMT -5 Ruby2579 said:

So I came across this on Tumblr and also read something similar here in the threads.

They are making these comparisons and I cant disagree anymore with this.

2x22: Damon confesses this to Elena while he is dying. He Loves Elena. She helped change him etc etc...

3x22: Elena tells Damon She chooses Stefan and on to season 4 Damon is still by her side helping her etc.

4x10: Elena confesses shes in love with Damon. Stefan is so devastated by the realization of all these confessions and the betrayal of his brother (will get back to that later) that he tells Rebekah to erase his memories. DO IT

Now here comes all the Stefan bashing because he cant handle reality and hes not sane or hes selfish only worrying about him yadadadadad

but this is my thought on the whole thing and why I justify Stefan's actions


1. Elena never was Damon's. Not until recently. She was with Stefan first. Damon came along and slowly fell for his brother's girlfriend.

learning how to deal with the fact the girl he was in love with was in love with his brother.

After all of season 3 and Elena choosing Stefan anyway Damon was GOING TO LET ALARIC KILL HIM. he had given up he just wanted it over with wanted to die

until he realized he still had an ounce of hope. the fact that Elena and him did meet first.

and he decided to fight back.

IF bekah was with Damon at the current time and heard about what had happened and Damon (didnt think he was gonna die bc of the klaus thing) I think he would have taken bekah's offer on wiping clean his memories of his love for Elena (in my opinion)

Now lets fast forward to today's episode

Stefan is devastated because he feels betrayed that his brother and the love of his life slept together. I dont care if they were broken up already its still a line of betrayal.
Elena confesses "her feelings" about Damon and how shes not in love with Stefan no more yadyadyayd.

He had to sit through numerous confessions there. He hears Rebekahs offer on the clean slate

Why not take it? Theres no hope in his eyes right now.
I dont blame him for wanting a clean slate. Do i think he's sane for wanting that? Maybe not because the way I live is everything that happens every mistake heartbreak helps create the person u are but lets face it stefan is not thinking logically right now.

but guess what Stefan in the midst of his heartbreak also was protecting Elena from Tyler. He ran with her to get out of harms way. He will find his ounce of hope again....

Now on to the betrayal...and why i get why stefan said he hated his brother. (which we all know he doesnt hate his brother hes just so hurt)

Stefan had Elena he was with her and hes lost her to his brother. He doesnt see that he lost her fair and square because he didnt. The Sirebond is intact and THE SAME DAY DAMON IS WILLING TO GO DRINK WITH HIS BROTHER TO DROWN THEIR SORROWS Damon goes and sleeps with Elena.
The two people Stefan trusted the most betrayed him and he has a right to be upset with Damon. Yea they were broken up so I can give Elena a pass with that but Damon betrayed his brother. Didnt think of him when it happened wasnt sorry they broke up.

Not entirely blaming Damon either because Damon has waited on the sidelines and finally had his chance and acted upon it. He Loves Elena and he was willing to LOVE Elena and betray his brother

Elena feeling like she was a broken toy?
When you started feeling like that sweety? After you couldnt stop complaining how much you hated being a vampire?

How you said you wasnt going to survive it How you didnt want to betray anyone.

Stefan never looked at you like a broken toy. You got all pissed because he involved Jeremy on the plan a plan now that Damon is continuing with Jeremy....

but I guess that can be another debate. I know theres more to this but I feel like i have rambled long enough...

Here's the first break in your argument. They were no longer together and it was Stefan's choice to break it off. Would Elena have slept with Damon if they had still been together? No, she would not. So, in the end, his choice, his result. Live with it and quit being a crybaby.

Second argument, and this has to do with what? Damon truly did feel bad for Stefan for how he was feeling and he tried to do something to help it/fix it and Stefan basically spat in his face. Was he sorry they broke up? No. You've never had times like this with friends or family? Well, I have. Did he know Elena would jump him and sleep with him at the time? No.

Third, nobody betrayed Stefan. He gave Elena up and he knew why. He knew she had feelings for Damon, but instead of fighting through it and proving how much he loved her, he gave up. Kind of like he wanted his memories erased now so he could give up. Or there was a third option, he steps aside knowing he is nothing but an obstacle to Delena and lets them be happy together. That would have been my choice. If he loves her and he loves Damon and he is such a great guy, it should be option 3.

[Ruby2579]

Here's the first break in your argument. They were no longer together and it was Stefan's choice to break it off. Would Elena have slept with Damon if they had still been together? No, she would not. So, in the end, his choice, his result. Live with it and quit being a crybaby.
Second argument, and this has to do with what? Damon truly did feel bad for Stefan for how he was feeling. Was he sorry they broke up? No. You've never had times like this with friends or family? Well, I have. Did he know Elena would jump him and sleep with him at the time? No.

They were no longer together correct. Which I think thats why Stefan is more upset with Damon.

He trusted his brother to maybe be upfront about the situation before they even slept together maybe even to control themselves. Elena as well. to stop themselves and tell stefan that they wanted to be together before they crossed that line.


Yea Stefan broke up with Elena because of her feelings for Damon but not for her to go sleep with him the next day...I think that was the last thing on his mind.

[pixiestyx]

But it wasn't the next day? I need to watch the episode again, but it was my impression that few days had passed since they broke up. Not only that, they had been broken up for months before when Stefan was all rippered up, all revenging and then when Stefan had his 'halo' back on. Elena and Stefan really weren't back together all that long.

Should they have told Stefan? Absolutely. But that's not totally their fault. Caroline opened her big mouth after promising Elena that she wouldn't. Damon asked Elena for one secret day before telling Stefan because he knew, as did Elena, that it would hurt him. They wanted to keep their happiness to themselves for a while. It all blew up in their face with the SB and Damon took one extra day to send Elena away.

Why should they have to discuss it with Stefan before they slept together? He really doesn't have anything to do with it. They don't need his permission. This is about them, their feelings. I believe that would have told him, but you know....SB and Caroline.

Stefan did look at her as if she was broken and needed to be fixed. He as much as told her that. Heck, he was telling Damon that she couldn't handle it. Yes, she did have problems adjusting to being a vampire but they all did. Stefan still hasn't adjusted to it.

Like Doppel said, while Damon wasn't unhappy that they broke up, he still offered to console Stefan and have some brotherly bonding. How could he have known that Elena would show up and they would sleep together? And really, Stefan LEFT THEM ALONE in that house. Knowing full well that Damon loves Elena and that Elena has feelings for him. Stefan has completely forgotten HE was the one who told Elena that she was in love with Damon. He's the only character that did (others danced around it).

Yes, Damon is now carrying on the plan with Jeremy but he also got Jeremy under control (around Elena etc) and is training him and was not willing to kill random people to do it. Stefan? Not so much. Heck, he saved Conner and left Jeremy bleeding from a gunshot wound. Stefan was willing to kill and turn people for Jeremy to kill without Elena's knowledge. And he did it in a rather brutal way. He didn't care what happened to Jeremy or how it affected him. This is the big sticking point. He wanted the cure and that's that.

I understand that Stefan is hurt. I understand, to a point, that he feels betrayed (though he really wasn't). But the fact is he'd rather forget his epic love than have their memories. Elena, after Stefan was compelled to turn it off, chose to keep her memories, no matter how painful when Damon offered to compel the bad memories away.

Stefan always walks away when it's too hard or he can't deal with it. This is what he does. Maybe if he took ownership of the stuff that he's done and shown that he's learned something, anything. That he's has some kind of growth I'd feel different with him wanted to compel the memory of Elena away. But nope. All I can say is GROW UP. DEAL WITH IT.

[Sweetluv4DE]

What could Damon be upfront about? Nothing happened as of yet. Elena came over they didn't plan it, it just happened. They weren't going to stop something that has been in the works for almost 4 seasons!!!! Seriously? (let's give Stefan a courtesy call?) I mean is this the real world?

Damon and Elena slept with each other because it happened. They slept with each other not planned it happened spontaneously and took us all by surprise. Even DE's. Yes they slept with each other the next day but really who wouldn't? They were happy. For once since 1864 Damon was happy. I'm sorry but boo hoo Stefan. He did this to Damon in 1864. I'm not singing tit for tat but I'm tired of the Stefan coddle game.

I feel for Stefan I do. I even understand why he said he hated Damon. Hell Damon said he hated him because of Kat. I'm not even mad at it... I think it's a bit lame to hate siblings over a girl but whatever not the point. HE WANTED TO ERASE ELENA! No matter how hurt you are you never take away life experience.

Why does he get a free slate? Why does he get to not remember? In his mind he felt he was justified but Damon never got a clean slate. He lived for over a hundred years knowing Kat slept, loved and turned Stefan. The woman he loved. The woman Stefan said he wanted and didn't care if it hurt his brother to get.

Don't you see it's a cycle with these two especially when it comes to these doppelgangers? Damon waited until they were broken up. All times he ever kissed Elena Stefan and Elena were not together. Except his drunkard night in her room where she made it clear it wasn't going to happen. He learned from that and didn't do anything. BTW when he was dying Elena kissed him...

I'm just saying he is not justified for wanting to erase Elena. He isn't special. I'm sorry he isn't. Why is his pain more worthy of sympathy than Damon's when it came to Kat or the times when Elena refused him?

He doesn't get a pass for this from me because he was so hurt. One breath he wants to forget her and the next he is inviting Rebekah over to find the cure so he can what "see if Elena's feelings for his brother are real"? Real contradictory.

LET IT GO STEFAN!

You either want to forget or you don't. This is why he doesn't get a pass. It's just obnoxious. He can be hurt. I give him that. Pissed off, angry and he can even hate Damon (which like you said he doesn't) but forget Elena... have part of his life erased because he is broken hearted.... NO. Deal with it. People in life go through worse s***. Just saying.

And it might sound like I'm angry at you but I'm not I'm just annoyed with the whole Stefan thing right now. It's a build up of things and this episode. I had to rant somewhere and well you created a debate thread.

[Doppelgänger]

I pretty much love that post Sweet...nothing to add.

[Ruby2579]

Jan 18, 2013 0:11:09 GMT -5 Sweetluv4DE said:

What could Damon be upfront about? Nothing happened as of yet. Elena came over they didn't plan it, it just happened. They weren't going to stop something that has been in the works for almost 4 seasons!!!! Seriously? (let's give Stefan a courtesy call?) I mean is this the real world?

Damon and Elena slept with each other because it happened. They slept with each other not planned it happened spontaneously and took us all by surprise. Even DE's. Yes they slept with each other the next day but really who wouldn't? They were happy. For once since 1864 Damon was happy. I'm sorry but boo hoo Stefan. He did this to Damon in 1864. I'm not singing tit for tat but I'm tired of the Stefan coddle game.

I feel for Stefan I do. I even understand why he said he hated Damon. Hell Damon said he hated him because of Kat. I'm not even mad at it... I think it's a bit lame to hate siblings over a girl but whatever not the point. HE WANTED TO ERASE ELENA! No matter how hurt you are you never take away life experience.

Why does he get a free slate? Why does he get to not remember? In his mind he felt he was justified but Damon never got a clean slate. He lived for over a hundred years knowing Kat slept, loved and turned Stefan. The woman he loved. The woman Stefan said he wanted and didn't care if it hurt his brother to get.

Don't you see it's a cycle with these two especially when it comes to these doppelgangers? Damon waited until they were broken up. All times he ever kissed Elena Stefan and Elena were not together. Except his drunkard night in her room where she made it clear it wasn't going to happen. He learned from that and didn't do anything. BTW when he was dying Elena kissed him...

I'm just saying he is not justified for wanting to erase Elena. He isn't special. I'm sorry he isn't. Why is his pain more worthy of sympathy than Damon's when it came to Kat or the times when Elena refused him?

He doesn't get a pass for this from me because he was so hurt. One breath he wants to forget her and the next he is inviting Rebekah over to find the cure so he can what "see if Elena's feelings for his brother are real"? Real contradictory.

LET IT GO STEFAN!

You either want to forget or you don't. This is why he doesn't get a pass. It's just obnoxious. He can be hurt. I give him that. Pissed off, angry and he can even hate Damon (which like you said he doesn't) but forget Elena... have part of his life erased because he is broken hearted.... NO. Deal with it. People in life go through worse s***. Just saying.

And it might sound like I'm angry at you but I'm not I'm just annoyed with the whole Stefan thing right now. It's a build up of things and this episode. I had to rant somewhere and well you created a debate thread.

TOTALLY DIDNT TAKE THIS POST AS AN ANGRY POST LOL

I GET IT THAT STEFAN SHOULD LET IT GO BUT MY THING WAS when he truly thought elena wanted him to move on he had given up. He said ima let it go but then he found out about the sire bond and came back on board.

Stefan wanting to wipe away his feelings he was acting on his anger on his hurt on his pain. He just didnt want to deal with it anymore. Same way Damon just gave up and wanted to die when alaric was kicking his ass or when Damon went and slept with Bekah or killed the girl in the road or snapped jeremy's neck....it was a moment of vulnerability of weakness.

Stefan just acted on it differently then Damon.

And I know technically it was fair game because they were broken up but its still a form of betrayal. Im not saying they had to give stefan a courtesy call but Damon couldve been one that said wait what about Stefan Should we go there without considering him or what are we going to do. But hey they got caught up in the moment which you cant blame them because they were all hot and heavy ahahha

no matter how it wouldve went it would have been betrayal in Stefan's eyes. and the way he found out about it also played a huge role in it. Made it seem way worse.

And btw Damon did kiss Elena while she ws with Stefan. The drunken night and also he kissed her when it turned out to be Katherine.

[Doppelgänger]

Damon's been saying, "What about Stefan," for a while now and controlling himself. He's not a saint. Elena was overturning furniture and ripping his shirt off to have DEx with him. He loves her. I don't think he could resist that temptation but it was obvious he cared how it would affect Stefan.

[Ruby2579]

Well he didnt give a crap that night

[Sweetluv4DE]

I get weakness... I get wanting to die or even being a jack ass and killing people like Damon did because that's in their nature as vampires. But to erase your memory of someone is something entirely different. Have you ever seem the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? When he said Do It! I thought of that! Immediately I was like NOOOOO! Do you know what you are saying. Death you die. The person grives but you are choosing to live forever with that person in the same world with you and you don't want to know them or want to know what you had between them.

That stung for me and I'm not even Elena. I would rather him say kill me. It means he can literally live without her and death means he cant. It's just kinda sad.

And again they had sex... I mean it was spontaneous. Damon isn't going to stop it and well Stefan never did when he slept with Kat. I'm just saying.... Maybe Damon was too busy to care at that moment. We do things we know will hurt people but we still do it because deep down we are still human and those two have humanity and they know what they did hurt him and it sucks and Stefan can be mad. I get it. But Elena and Damon didn't do anything wrong. Love does that to us.... Andie.

[Sweetluv4DE]

Jan 18, 2013 0:18:27 GMT -5 Doppelgänger said:

I pretty much love that post Sweet...nothing to add.

Thanks Doppel!!! xoxo

[Ruby2579]

Jan 18, 2013 0:43:41 GMT -5 Sweetluv4DE said:

I get weakness... I get wanting to die or even being a jack ass and killing people like Damon did because that's in their nature as vampires. But to erase your memory of someone is something entirely different. Have you ever seem the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? When he said Do It! I thought of that! Immediately I was like NOOOOO! Do you know what you are saying. Death you die. The person grives but you are choosing to live forever with that person in the same world with you and you don't want to know them or want to know what you had between them.

That stung for me and I'm not even Elena. I would rather him say kill me. It means he can literally live without her and death means he cant. It's just kinda sad.

And again they had sex... I mean it was spontaneous. Damon isn't going to stop it and well Stefan never did when he slept with Kat. I'm just saying.... Maybe Damon was too busy to care at that moment. We do things we know will hurt people but we still do it because deep down we are still human and those two have humanity and they know what they did hurt him and it sucks and Stefan can be mad. I get it. But Elena and Damon didn't do anything wrong. Love does that to us.... Andie.

And I think it was Stefan's breaking point. I dont see why he has to get judged for wanting to this or looked at wrong. He acted upon it so quick he didnt even have time to think.

Stefan is one who holds on to so much guilt and pain and like you guys say brooding so maybe this was just too much for him. the one thing (love for elena) that could bring him back from darkness or make him feel that life is worth fighting for is basically gone where else do you think he would want to do.

If he wouldve said kill me I think everyone wouldve said the same thing hes not taking it like a man a yadadadad

[Sweetluv4DE]

Jan 18, 2013 0:50:20 GMT -5 Ruby2579 said:

Jan 18, 2013 0:43:41 GMT -5 Sweetluv4DE said:

I get weakness... I get wanting to die or even being a jack ass and killing people like Damon did because that's in their nature as vampires. But to erase your memory of someone is something entirely different. Have you ever seem the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? When he said Do It! I thought of that! Immediately I was like NOOOOO! Do you know what you are saying. Death you die. The person grives but you are choosing to live forever with that person in the same world with you and you don't want to know them or want to know what you had between them.

That stung for me and I'm not even Elena. I would rather him say kill me. It means he can literally live without her and death means he cant. It's just kinda sad.

And again they had sex... I mean it was spontaneous. Damon isn't going to stop it and well Stefan never did when he slept with Kat. I'm just saying.... Maybe Damon was too busy to care at that moment. We do things we know will hurt people but we still do it because deep down we are still human and those two have humanity and they know what they did hurt him and it sucks and Stefan can be mad. I get it. But Elena and Damon didn't do anything wrong. Love does that to us.... Andie.

And I think it was Stefan's breaking point. I dont see why he has to get judged for wanting to this or looked at wrong. He acted upon it so quick he didnt even have time to think.

Stefan is one who holds on to so much guilt and pain and like you guys say brooding so maybe this was just too much for him. the one thing (love for elena) that could bring him back from darkness or make him feel that life is worth fighting for is basically gone where else do you think he would want to do.

If he wouldve said kill me I think everyone wouldve said the same thing hes not taking it like a man a yadadadad

Yes we would have but I would have respected it more...

Like I said Death is dying... But erasing her is choosing to live without knowing her anymore. There lies the difference.

I think it's wrong that he did that and I do think he needs to man up. But honestly it was more for me as a sting because of that movie I mentioned. I think it would hurt me more if my husband didn't want to remember me. if he wanted to keep living a life without me in it. If he said death, then he chooses to not live anymore. But to live with me in the world and not know me would crush me into a thousand pieces and this is why I think Julie had his say yes!!!

She wanted to make that distinction clear. He'd rather live life with her in the world and not know her anymore than die.

[Doppelgänger]

I hate to bring this up but I will. It's an abuse tactic to basically act as if the person no longer exists in your world, to erase them from your existence like they don't exist and basically that is what Stefan wanted to do to Elena because AFTER he broke up with her she admitted to falling in love with his brother. Grow up. Get some balls. Get some counseling maybe and become a more decent human being and maybe a girl wouldn't fall out of love with you when you treat her like a broken doll (aka an object that needs fixing).

[Ruby2579]

I think they are both sad moves though

Damon: Dying doesnt want to live if he cant have Elena
Stefan: Wiping his memories to live without being hurt by the pain of his love for elena and possibly turning back into the ripper if he chooses to shut it out himself

Both way mean I rather be anywhere but deal with this pain. Hell, earth, heaven, Dunkin DOnuts

But I get the sting though because even elena was like wait what
But he probably feels like he hates her right now so he wanted to sting her a lil